


Though enough, strong enough, fearless enough.

by faith_in_Faith



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Hurt Dean Winchester, Sick Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faith_in_Faith/pseuds/faith_in_Faith
Summary: When Sam doesn't know what to do with a girl, big brother comes to rescue.





	1. In need of advice

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is an old story from me that I just realized I had finished but never put up the last chapter. Since I haven't written much for a long time I no longer have a Beta so I apologize in advance for any mistakes and for putting it up like this especially since my first language isn't English... If anyone wants to beta read for me or know anyone who's available I'd be very grateful.

Someone bumped into Sam, making him drop his books on the floor. Suppressing a curse, he got down on his knees and stared to collect them.

“I’m so sorry,” he heard a familiar voice say from above him.

“It’s OK.” He picked up the last book and stood up, sighing inwardly as he met the embarrassed gaze of Jessica Moore. Jessica was nice but clumsy. It was the third time this week she had bumped into him, making him drop something, and to be honest, it started to get annoying. But he knew she couldn’t help it. She probably had some kind of trouble with her eye sight or something. 

He had shared that thought with Jake, but he had just laughed, telling Sam he was an idiot, claming that the reason Jessica kept bumping in to Sam – and only Sam – was because she wanted Sam to notice her. Jake said Jessica had a crush on Sam and the whole thing scared the shit out of him, because Sam simple didn’t understand girls. Girls had always been Dean’s thing – girls and hunting. Sam’s thing was studying and research. Maybe he could call Dean and ask what to do. Dean would know, because what Dean didn’t know about girls really wasn’t worth knowing. Sam knew that for sure. Dean usually told him everything about his escapades with women and suddenly he wished he had listen closer, but the thought that he could call Dean soothed him and he flashed Jessica a smile before walking away.

“Sam?”

Sam stopped and turned around.

“Yeah?”

Jessica blushed. “Um…I was thinking, maybe you could help me with the chemistry. I find it kind of difficult and I thought since you had a full score on the last test you could help me out a bit….”

Sam wondered how she knew his test scores but he guessed she had asked someone. It wasn’t like it was classified material or anything…. But still the whole thing made him nervous, because he started to think Jake was right, and if he was, the last thing Sam should do was to encourage her, but, on the other hand – if she really needed help – it would be cruel of him to turn her down. God, he really needed to call Dean.

He swallowed hard. “Um…sure. Tomorrow? I’m kind of busy tonight.” Busy finding out how to deal with this.

Jessica nodded and flashed him a bright smile. “Sure. Thanks, Sam. You’re the best.”

**

Sam lied down on his bed and closed his eyes, gently massaging his temples. The Jessica business had given him a headache and the tiredness he had felt all day threatened to overtake him, although it was only eight o’clock. But he couldn’t go to sleep yet. He needed to call Dean first. He picked up his cell phone and dialled the number.

”Dean.”

“Hi, Dean. It’s me.”

“Hi, Sammy. What’s up?”

“I need your help,” Sam said, trying not to sound like he was five.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Dean asked, worry evident in his voice. “What kind of ghost is it?”

Sam smiled. It was so Dean to assume it was a ghost problem. “It’s nothing like that. I guess I need your advice more than your help.”

Sam could almost hear Dean’s eyebrow rise. “My advice? On what kind of subject would a college boy like you need my advice?”

“It’s about a girl,” Sam answered quietly, suddenly feeling very stupid and he could hear the grin in Dean’s voice when he replied. 

“Well, then you have come to the right place. I’m an expert on the subject and I’m glad you finally realized it.”

“Dean. Please,” Sam begged. “This is serious.”

Dean sobered up. “OK. Shoot.”

And Sam told him everything about Jessica and her clumsiness and when he was done, Dean said; “Your buddy is right, Sam. She has it bad for you.”

Sam moaned.

“Why do you sound so tortured? This is great – unbelievable – but great!”

“You don’t understand,” Sam said tiredly. “I don’t like her – not that way.”

“Come on, Sam. Give her a chance. She sounds nice and she’s hot, right?”

Sam sighed. “I guess, but that’s not the point. I don’t want a relationship right now, and, besides, she’s not my type.”

Dean laughed. “And how exactly would you know what’s your type, Sam? You never had a girlfriend.”

“Doesn’t mean I haven’t looked,” Sam replied in an offended voice.

“That’s my boy!” Dean said with a laugh before turning serious. “Look, Sam. If you really don’t want to give it a try then you’ll have to tell her you’re not interested. Everything else would be cruel, because as long as there’s even the slightest bit of hope, she will keep trying. Chicks are funny that way. You need to play fair with them.”

“That sounds pretty pompous coming from the king of one night stands.”

“Hey! I never promise them anything. I always make my intentions clear from the start!” 

Dean sounded truly offended and Sam felt bad.

”I know. I’m sorry. It’s just…..”

“I know. But it will be OK, Sammy. I promise.”

Dean’s voice was soft and reassuring. It was the ‘don’t fear big brother is here’ voice and Sam’s eyes teard up. Suddenly he missed Dean so much it physically hurt. Stanford was great but Dean had been close by his side his whole life, protecting him – fixing things – and sometimes Sam felt so lost. An almost overwhelming need to see Dean washed over him.

“OK.” A heartbeat of silence. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” 

“Could you…um….Could you come here?” Sam asked, trying to keep the shakiness out of his voice, but he knew he had failed when he heard Dean’s worried reply. Not that it really mattered. Sam knew the request itself was enough to give Dean a heart attack. You didn’t ask for that kind of things – not in their family.

“What? Why? Is there something else going on?”

Sam swallowed hard. “No. Everything is fine. I just…I just miss you.”

Sam groaned inwardly. He couldn’t believe he just said that. If Dean wasn’t already convinced that Sam was possessed, insane or dying before, he definitely would be now.

“Are you sure you’re OK, Sammy? You don’t sound so good,” Dean said and then a faint “Christo.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile. Good old Dean. Always reliable and predictable – which was why Sam missed him so much.

He ran his hand over his face, quickly whipping away a couple of tears that had escaped as he tried to put himself together. This was ridicules. He was a grown man and here he sat crying like a baby because he missed his big brother.

“Yeah. I’m OK. Just tired I guess.”

“Dude! You’re not doing that ‘not eating, not sleeping, study all night’ thing, are you?”

“No. I promise. I just…I’m sorry. It’s stupid. Just forget I said something.”

Sam’s voice cracked slightly and he cursed his inability to hold it together.

“Look, Sammy. Don’t sweat it, man. I’ll be there. But it’s gonna take a couple of days. I’m in the middle of a hunt I need to finish and I’m pretty far from you. Gonna take me a couple of days to get to you. But I’ll be there in three, four days tops, OK?

”OK” 

There was a brief silence. “And if you need your amazing big brother’s help with something else – like tying your shoes – just call, OK?”

Sam smiled despite himself. “Jerk.”

“Bye, bitch.” 

****

In the end, it took Dean five days to get to Stanford. The poltergeist had given him hell and he had to call Caleb for back up. The strange phone call from Sam didn’t help at all. It had really made him worried and unfocused and in the end it almost cost him his life. He was just lucky Caleb got there in time. Dean made a face. Dad would kill him if he knew…. But Dean couldn’t help himself. Something was wrong with Sam. He knew it. It wasn’t like Sam to be so clingy...so needy.

He knocked on the door and just moments later, he was greeted with a smiling Sam. “Dean. Hi!” 

“Hi, Sammy,” Dean replied and stepped inside, closing the door behind him before giving Sam a good look over. The kid was pale as a ghost, dark circles under his eyes and he looked thinner than he had when Dean last saw him – six months ago.

“Dude, you look like crap! I knew you were doing the ‘not eating, not sleeping, just studying’ thing again!”

“It’s not true! I am eating and sleeping.”

Dean raised his eyebrows doubtfully. “Really?”

Sam blushed slightly. “OK, so maybe not as much as I should, but I need to nail my tests or they gonna kick me out. I’m here on a scholarship, remember? And….” He looked down and bit his lip. Dean frowned worriedly. “Money has been kind of tight lately.”

“You’re not eating because you don’t have enough money?” Dean asked, his voice somewhere between anger and disbelief. “Why the hell didn’t you call me?”

Sam shrugged. “Wanted to be independent, I guess and, besides, it’s not like you have an ocean of money either.”

Dean huffed angrily. “Independent, huh? Yeah, starving to death is a great way to prove your independency, and you know that if I had known you needed money I had found a way to come up with it.”

”I know. But….”

”No buts, Sammy. Next time you call me or I’m gonna kick your ass. Are we clear on that?”

“Yes, sir!” Sam replied mockingly, but there was a smile playing on his lips.

“Smartass.” Dean whacked him over the head.

“OW!”

Dean grinned. “So what are you up to? Studying some geek stuff?”

“Yeah. I have a test in four days,” Sam said with a sigh.

“OK why don’t you get back to that? I’m gonna head out and get us some food and when I get back, we’re gonna eat and then you’re going to bed.”

“Dean!” Sam protested indignantly. “It’s only eight and I have tons of studying to do. You can’t order me to bed like I’m four.”

“Watch me!”

“Seriously, Dean. I can take care of myself!”

“Really? After what you just told me, I think the jury is still out on that one, little brother. Not to mention that you called me five days ago, pulling a major chick flick, making me think you were dying or something.”

Sam blushed.

“Look, Sammy,” Dean said, his voice a lot softer. “You’re overworked and you need some food and rest. Listen to big brother, he always knows best.”

Dean watched Sam’s face crumble and the way he blinked his eyes and looked away told him his brother was close to tears and he felt his stomach tighten. What the hell was wrong with the kid?

“Sammy….” he started but was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Sam quickly went and opened it. Standing outside was a gorgeous blond with an amazing body and Dean couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. This definitely was someone he would like to hook up with.

“Hi, Sam,” the girl said shyly. “Feeling any better?”

“Yeah. I’m good now.”

The girl smiled warmly. “Good. You had me worried.”

Dean frowned. Was Sam sick? Was that why he looked like crap?

Sam blushed slightly. “No need to be. It was no big deal. I’m fine now.”

”That’s great, Sam. Look, since you’re feeling better and everything, I was thinking, I’m gonna have a small party on Saturday. You think you’d like to come?”

“I don’t know. My brother just came to visit and I don’t want to leave him alone.”  
Sam shifted uncomfortably and Dean suddenly realized this was the famous Jessica.

”Oh. Your brother is here? That’s great, Sam. But he can come, too – it’s not a problem.”

“Jess…I don’t know,” Sam said hesitantly.

“You still feeling ill?” Jessica asked worriedly and Dean set his jaw. He was so going to kick Sam’s ass for not telling him he’d been sick but at the same time he was relieved. Sam’s illness – what ever it was – explained his strange behaviour. As a kid, Sam had always been a clingy, overemotional wuss when he was sick and apparently that hadn’t changed over the years.

Sam shot Dean a quick, guilt filled look. “No, no. I’m fine. The antibiotic worked just fine. I’m still kind of tired, though, and I have this test on Monday and it’s been awhile since I saw Dean…..”

“Oh. OK,” Jessica looked slightly disappointed, but then an adorable smile lit up her pretty face. “Maybe some other time?”

Sam was about to answer but Dean interrupted him, determent to put an end to this before it got really ugly. The girl was obviously totally wiped and the longer Sam waited to tell her there was no chance, the longer it would take for her to get over it.

“No, it’s fine. We’ll be there. I’m looking forward to meet some of Sam’s friends.”

”Dean!” Sam protested, glaring at Dean.

“Are you sure?” Jessica looked hesitantly between them.

Dean nodded. “We’re sure. Sam spends way too much time in this room. He needs to get out more.”

Jessica smiled warmly. “That’s exactly what I’ve been telling him. See you Saturday then?

Dean flashed her his most charming smile. “Count on it.”

Jessica smiled happily and said, “Bye, Sam.”

“Bye,” Sam murmured and closed the door.

“Dean! How could you? You know I don’t want to see her!”

“I know that, Sammy, but obviously you haven’t told her the truth as we agreed you would and this is an excellent opportunity to do so.”

“But….”

”No, buts, Sammy. I told you, chicks need the truth and the longer you wait, the harder it’s gonna get. And speaking of the truth, Sam.” Dean crossed his arms over his chest. “She obviously isn’t the only one you’ve kept in the dark.”

“Dean….”

“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded. “For how long have you been sick and what’s the matter? And most importantly, why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Dean, look. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but you never really gave me a chance and it’s no big deal – just a simple strep throat. I went to see a doctor and he gave me some antibiotics for it. I’m fine now, Dean. I promise.”

“Yeah, sure. Because you look really great.”

“I’m OK – really. It’s just some after effects. I have no fever and it barely hurts anymore. I’m fine now. I really am.”

Dean wanted so badly to believe him, but Sam’s pale face and haggard appearance told him otherwise. Then something dawned on him and he narrowed his eyes.

“Were you sick when you called me, too?”

Sam had the decency to look embarrassed. “Yeah, I was. But it had just started and I wasn’t even aware of it. I swear!”

Dean rubbed his face in frustration. “God dammit, Sam! Do you have any idea how badly you scared me? I thought something was seriously wrong. Almost screw up the hunt because of it! You can’t call me and pull shit like that, Sam. It’s not fair – not to mention dangerous!”

“I know and I’m really sorry,” Sam whispered and Dean could see that – once again – it was tears in his eyes, which confirmed Dean’s suspicion that Sam still wasn’t entirely well. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“It’s OK, Sammy. I believe you and I forgive you, but in return, you’ll have to do as I say, OK?”

Sam nodded mutely.

“Good. Now you’re gonna lie down and rest while I get the food and as soon as you have eaten, you’re off to bed.”

Sam looked like he was about to object and Dean held up his hand. “No buts, Sam You promised to do as you were told, remember? And, besides, you need to be well rested to nail that test, not to mention to be able to deal with that Jessica chick.”

Sam sighed deeply and looked even more miserable than he had before.

Dean squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Sammy. It will be OK. I’ll be there, having your back – as always. Now get some rest.”

”OK,” Sam said quietly and lied down on this bed.

Dean smiled a smile of victory and headed out through the door.

**

Saturday came way too fast for Sam’s liking and soon he found himself standing in Jessica’s small apartment, her arms around his neck in a hug. “Sam! It’s so good to see you!” she squealed happily.

Sam patted her back awkwardly and decided that he might as well get it over with and then maybe he could go home. “It’s nice to see you, too, Jessica. But I think we need to talk.”

Jess looked worriedly at him. “About what? Is something wrong? Are you sick?”

Sam couldn’t help but smile. She had the same one tracked mind when it came to him as Dean and Sam found it kind of ironic that she wanted him when she and Dean obviously was a match made in heaven.

“No, I’m fine. It’s just that I…um…I think I’m picking up a vibe here.” Sam closed his eyes. He really sucked at this, taking a deep breath, he tried again. “What I’m trying to say is that it feels like you want us to be more than friends.”

Jess smiled gently. “You’re right. I do. You’re a really sweet guy, Sam and I would really like for us to be more than friends.”

So this was it. This was where he broke Jessica’s heart. Sam swallowed hard. He couldn’t for the life of him understand how Dean did this all the time. “Well, the thing is…um…I don’t feel the same and I don’t think I ever will, so….” He looked at Jess, willing her to understand what he couldn’t bring himself to say, and the way her face fell and kind of crumbled around the edges told him she did.

“Oh…OK…I….” She swallowed hard. “I’m sorry…I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable…I’m just…God, Sam. I’m sorry. I never meant to….” Her eyes tear up and she quickly turned around and ran for the door.

”Jessica! Wait!” Sam called and went to go after her, but a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

He turned around and met Dean’s serious eyes. “No, Sam. Let her go. Trust me; she doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

“But she was upset! She cried, Dean!”

Dean gave a snort of laughter. “Well, what did you expect her to do? Thank you?”

“I don’t know! I’ve never done this before, remember?” Sam replied angrily, and then, a lot softer, “I just don’t want her to be alone when she’s sad. She deserves better.”

Dean sighed. “You look like crap again. Why don’t you go home and get some rest?” 

“But what about Jessica?”

Dean sighed again. “I’ll go after her. Just go home and get some rest. I don’t want you to end up sick again.”

Sam hesitated. He did feel exhausted but he had a feeling it had more to do with the tension of having to hurt a sweet person like Jessica, then with getting sick again. “You sure?” 

Dean nodded. “I’m sure. Just get out of here. Big brother will fix this.”

Sam gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

Dean waved him off. “Just go.” And Sam disappeared through the door. 

**  
Dean made his way through the small crowd gathered in the apartment, trying to find Jessica, but she was no where in sight. Sighing he ran his hand through his hair, trying to come up with an idea where she might be. He really didn’t want to do this. What he wanted was to go and check on Sam. The kid didn’t seem to be able to quite bounce back from his illness. He was still pale and tired, despite Dean’s efforts to nurse him back to health, and Dean started to fear it was something seriously wrong with him, But at the same time he knew Sam and he knew how Sam used to totally ignore his own wellbeing when it came to studying. He simply seemed to forget to eat and sleep and Dean had had a hard time to make him eat and sleep enough when he lived at home and he could only imagine for how long Sam had been doing this now, when no one was there to look out for the signs.

Dean sighed again and forced his mind back to the task on hand. He had promised Sam to try to comfort Jessica and the sooner he found her and got it over with, the sooner he could go back to take care of Sam. He decided to check outside. Maybe she had gone outside to get away from her friends, to be able to grief in peace.

Dean spotted her as soon as he got out. She was sitting on a bench on the other side of the street, staring at the ground. Dean crossed the street and sat down beside her on the bench. 

“Hi, how are you doing?” he asked softly.

She looked up at him and the despair on her tear-swollen face stirred something inside of him that he usually only felt around Sam – an urge to protect and make things better.

“Your brother just told me he’s not interested, how you think I’m feeling?” she asked with a mix of anger and resignation in her voice.

“Pretty crappy?” Dean suggested carefully, making a face when he realized how stupid it sounded, but there was a reason he avoided chick flick moments like the plague and a crying chick was even worse than a crying Sam.

But to his surprise the girl gave a snort of laughter. “Something like that, yeah.”

Dean smiled. “You gotta forgive my brother, he’s a dork.”

Jessica looked down again and whispered. “No, he isn’t. He’s one of the nicest guys here.”

Dean sighed. She was right. Sam was nice – too nice. Always had been. It was like his own personal curse and, as usual, it came back and kicked his ass. And this time, it managed to hurt someone else in the process. Life really sucked. 

“OK, maybe he is, but he’s a dork when it comes to girls. You can’t take it personal. It has nothing to do with you. Girls just aren’t his thing.”

“No?” Jessica looked up and dried at her tears. “You think he’s gay?”

Dean laughed. “No, just a geek. All he can think of is books and studying and test results. He’s always been that way. Even makes himself sick in the process.”

“So I have noticed,” Jess replied softly. “He’s like a lost puppy or something, you know…. You just can’t help liking him and worry about him.”

Dean rubbed this face tiredly. “Yeah, he’s worry material, that’s for sure.”

Jess smiled. “That’s cute you know?”

“What is?” 

”The way you worry about him. Because you do that a lot ,don’t you?”

Dean shrugged. “I guess. It’s kind of my job.”

“To take care of him?”

“To take care of him, protect him, cleaning up his mess – whatever he needs.” Dean replied uneasily, wondering why the hell he bared his soul to a total stranger.

“Was that why you came after me? To clean up his mess?”

“Yes and no. He wanted to go after you himself, didn’t want you to be alone when you was upset, but I figured he was the last person you wanted to see, so I offered to go instead, to ease his mind.”

Jessica’s eyes filled with tears again. “I told you he’s nice.”

“Yeah, yeah he is. But it’s his loss, you know….”

“You really think so?”

”Yeah I do. And don’t worry, as nice and pretty as you are you can have pretty much anyone you want.”

“Really?”

Dean smiled again. “Really.”

They sat in comfortable silence for awhile and when Dean was sure she had regain her composure he said, “Well, I better be going. Good luck with everything. “

Jessica smiled warmly at him. “Thank you. For coming after me. For comforting me.”

Dean shrugged, trying to hide his discomfort. This girl made a lot of feelings well up inside him. Feelings he wasn’t used to and it made him nervous. “You’re welcome.”

“Will I see you again?” she asked seriously.

“Probably. I’m planning on hanging around for awhile. To make sure Sammy doesn’t starve himself to death.”

“OK, see you around then, Dean Winchester,” she said, giving him one of those pretty smiles of hers.

Dean smiled back. “Yeah, see you around.” 

Then he turned around and headed towards Sam’s room, eager to check on his brother but at the same time he already longed to see Jessica again.

TBC….


	2. Dean to the rescue

CHAPTER TWO

When Dean got home, he found Sam in bed, fast asleep, which both surprised and worried him. Because Sam had been very upset and worried about Jessica, and if he could fall asleep anyway, he really had to be exhausted – probably as exhausted as he looked – and that was definitely not a good thing.

Dean sighed and carefully, not wanting to wake his brother, put a hand on Sam’s forehead to check for his worst enemy when it came to protecting Sam. A fever. Dean hated fevers and illnesses simply because he couldn’t protect Sam from them. They always sneaked up on them when Dean least expected them to and – even worse – Dean had no weapon to kill them with. Sam’s forehead wasn’t hot, but not really cool either, and Dean frowned. Were they really going to go down this path again? Sam stirred under his touch and opened his eyes.

“Hi,” Dean said softly.

Sam blinked sleepily at him before his eyes opened completely and he asked, “Jess?”

“She’s okay, or at least will be. Don’t worry about it. Just go back to sleep.”

“Okay,” Sam answered obediently and then a faint, “Thank you,” before he closed his eyes.

Dean sighed again and gave Sam one more worried look, before he got undressed and went to bed himself.

**

Sunday went by without Sam looking any worse for wear than he had, and he was gone before Dean woke up on Monday morning. Dean spent the day looking for potential jobs, since he had a distinct feeling he would be staying for a while. Dad was going to kill him, but Dean couldn’t really bring himself to care. Sammy first, that had been the standing order over the years, and if John suddenly didn’t like it – too bad for him. Dean would never bail on his brother when he needed him. 

Dean unlocked the door to Sam’s dorm room later that afternoon and immediately spotted Sam sprawled out on his bed, asleep. There were red spots on his cheeks and the hair on his forehead looked damp. Dean made a face as he put the groceries down on the counter. He didn’t need to feel Sam’s forehead to know his worst enemy was back, but he did it anyway, feeling relieved when Sam’s skin felt hot, but not dangerously hot, at least the kid wasn’t burning up.

Sam jerked awake from Dean’s touch and looked at him with glossy, frightened eyes. 

“Shh, it’s okay, Sammy. It’s just me.”

It took a couple of seconds for Sam to process the information, but, just moments later, awareness was back in his eyes and he ran a hand over his face. “Hi.”

Dean smiled. “Hi, sleeping beauty. How are you feeling?”

Sam sat up, groaning slightly as he did. “Got a killer headache.”

“I bet. It’s the fever.”

“I’m running a fever?”

Dean’s lips tightened. “Like you didn’t know.”

Sam rubbed his face. “I didn’t. I swear. I thought it was the stress from the test.”

“Stress from the test, huh?” Dean huffed angrily, “no wonder you’re running on empty. You’re no more capable to take care of yourself than a newborn kitten!”

“Dean!” Sam said angrily. But then a look of panic crossed his face. “But, I can’t be sick again! I just can’t! I’m gonna miss classes and I can’t afford that. I’ve got more tests coming up that I need to nail! Please, Dean. I just can’t.”

“Well, it’s not like you have a choice, so you better deal with it.”

“No, Dean. You don’t understand. I’ve missed a lot lately. I really can’t afford not to go. I just can’t.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Dude, how many times have you been sick since I last saw you?”

Sam waved off his concern. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I really need to go. Please, Dean.”

Dean shook his head. “No, Sam. No fucking way! You’re staying here, even if it means I‘ll have to tie you to the bed!”

“Come on, Dean. I’ll take a couple of Advil and then I’ll be fine. I can both study and beat this. I know I can,” Sam said in a small voice and looked pleadingly at Dean. With his eyes glossy and the cheeks red from the fever, he reminded Dean of a much younger Sam. Reminded him of the child Sam once was. The child Dean had spent his whole life to take care of and protect.

He sighed deeply and realized it was time to try a different approach. Ordering Sam around had never really worked. Not even for Dean. 

“Sam, look at you. You’re pale and tired all the time. You have lost weight, and you keep getting sick. You’re running on empty, Sammy. Probably has for a long time, and you can’t keep pushing yourself like this. Sooner or later it’s gonna make you so sick you’ll end up in the hospital, losing even more time away from school. You don’t want that to happen, do you?”

“No. But I need to take these classes. I really do.” The tears were back in Sam’s eyes. “Please, Dean.”

“No, Sammy,” Dean replied gently, “you need to rest, but don’t worry. I’ll help you.”

“How are you gonna help me? Are you planning on taking the classes for me?”

Dean snorted. “Hardly. But I’ll figure something out and I’m gonna stay here and take care of you until you’re well again – well and well rested.”

“Don’t you need to hunt?”

“I’ll take a break.”

Sam eyed him wearily. “Dad’s not gonna like it.”

“I don’t give a damn what Dad thinks. I’m staying with you for as long as I need to get you better – end of discussion.”

Sam looked at him in wide-eyed disbelief. “You don’t give a damn what Dad says?”

“Damn right I don’t.”

Sam continued to stare at him for a moment and then lowered his gaze to his hands. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Dean replied with a half smile, pleased to see that Sam seemed relaxed, but just seconds later the worry was back on Sam’s face. 

“But how are we gonna afford it? I don’t have any money. I had a job, but I got laid off because I got sick too much.”

”Don’t worry about it. I had a feeling you would end up sick again, so when you took that test of yours, I went looking for jobs and I’ve got two.”

Sam’s eyes widened again. “Two?”

Dean smiled proudly. “Yeah. One at a garage and one at the campus bar.”

“But can you really work two jobs? What if you get sick, too?”

“Don’t worry, little brother. I’m strong as an ox and – unlike yours – my immune system is in excellent shape. I’ll live and, besides, the bar one is only ever other weekend, and when you geeks have a special occasion. So stop worrying. Money won’t be an issue, and the rest we’ll figure out together. I promise.”

Sam looked at him for a long time. Probably trying to figure out if I really will be able to fix this, Dean thought wearily and felt both relieved and grateful when Sam said, “Okay. But you really are a pain in the ass.”

Dean grinned. “Yeah, and I’m planning on staying that way, so you better deal with it.”

San sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, my head hurts.”

Dean’s mood quickly changed from victorious to worried. “I’ll go and get you a couple of Advil. Why don’t you lie back down?”  
“Okay.”

Dean returned with two Advil and a glass of water. “Here you go. Anything else hurts?”

“No, just my head,” Sam answered tiredly.

Dean pattered Sam’s chest lightly. “Okay, try to get some sleep. I’ll wake you up for dinner.”

“Not hungry,” Sam murmured sleepily.

“Like I’d care. You’re gonna eat period,” Dean huffed and put the blanket tighter around Sam’s shoulders.

Later that evening, Dean stood in front of the mirror – checking out his appearance, trying out a couple of smiles. He knew he had to be at his best to pull off his next mission. Finally, he decided it wouldn’t get any better, and went to check on Sam before he left.

Sam was fast asleep, resting peacefully. His fever was up to 101.9, and he hadn’t eaten much for dinner, but Dean had managed to get him to drink both water and orange juice, and felt pretty pleased with himself. Especially since he was pretty sure he had found a solution to Sam’s study problem. With a happy grin he took his coat from the hook and headed out.

****  
Dean quickly ran a hand over his hair, making sure nothing was sticking up funny, before knocking on Jessica’s door.

He had to knock twice, and was just about to leave when the door opened. “Dean! Hi! What brings you here?” she asked with a big smile.

Dean smiled back, surprised over how happy her smile made him feel. “I came to ask you a favour.”

“A favour? What kind of favour?”

Dean shifted nervously, because they had reached the point where his plan – if he had read the signs wrong – could backfire. “Actually, it’s more a favour for Sam.”

“For Sam? I didn’t think he wanted to have anything to do with me.” Jessica sounded sad and heartbroken and Dean felt his heart sink. Maybe this wouldn’t work after all.

“He never said that. Just that he didn’t want to be your boyfriend. And the thing is that he’s in a kind of bad place right now. He’s sick again and-”

“He’s sick again?” Jessica interrupted worriedly. “It has to be like the forth time in two months or something.”

“Really?”

She nodded gravely. “Yeah. He’s not taking very good care of himself. It’s like you said, studying and good grades are all he cares about. I think it’s a very good thing you came here. He needs someone to look after him.”

Dean smiled warmly, partly because it was a part of his plan, and partly because her concern for Sam made her a good person in his eyes. “Yeah. Probably, but the thing is he’s all worked up about all the classes he’s gonna miss, and it’s an almost impossible task to get him to rest. So…I was thinking since you take the same classes, that maybe you could copy your notes for him, maybe telling him the most important stuff...,” he trailed off, not completely sure how this college stuff worked. 

“Oh, sure! No problem. I’d be glad to. We’re not taking the exact same classes, but I’ll ask John and Jake to do the same.”

“Thank you. It’s very kind of you. I understand it has to feel a bit awkward, since he turned you down and everything.”

“No. It’s okay. I meant what I said the other day. He’s one of the nicest guys here, and it’s not his fault I was stupid enough to fall in love with him.”

“It’s okay. We all make mistakes.”

Jessica laughed. “If you say so, but I have a feeling you know what you want, and how to get it.”

Dean cocked an eyebrow. “You think so?”

Jessica blushed. “Sorry, that came out all wrong.”

“Don’t worry about it. Look I need to go back to Sam so...”

She ran her hand over her hair. “Yeah, of course. How is he anyway? It’s nothing serious, right?”

“No, not yet anyway. Just a fever and a headache.”

“Okay. Tell him I said hi.”

Dean nodded. “Sure.”

“See you later then. When I come by with Sam’s notes.” 

“Yeah sure. Take care and thanks again.”

She smiled. “Like I said, I’m happy to help. I want him to get better, too.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Dean turned and left with a content smile on his lips. It had all worked like a charm. Another victory for the Winchester charm. 

**

The knock on the door startled Dean a bit, and he quickly throw a glance over at the bed where Sam was fast asleep, like he had been since they got home from the doctors. Luckily, he didn’t seem to get disturbed by the knock, and Dean quickly hurried over to the door, before the person outside would get a chance to knock again.

When he opened the door he was greeted by Jessica’s smiling face. “Hi, I just wanted to bring over some notes for Sam,” she said and held out a large stack of papers. 

Dean quickly went out into the hallway and carefully closed the door behind him. Meeting Jessica’s confused eyes he said, “Sam’s asleep and he had a rough night so…”

Jess worried eyes met his. “He’s worse?”

Dean sighed slightly and tiredly ran a hand over his hair. “Yeah, he woke up in the middle of the night, saying his ear hurt, and his fever was up, so I took him to the doctors this morning. They said it was an ear infection. He’s on antibiotics again.”

“An ear infection?” Jess replied in surprise.

Dean grinned. “Yeah, I know. It’s such childish disease.”

He watched as Jessica tried to suppress a smile. “Don’t be cruel. I’m sure he’s miserable.”

Dean turned serious again. “Yeah, he is. The doctor said he is completely run down and needs lots of rest.”

“But he’ll be OK, right?”

Dean set his jaw and nodded grimly. “Yeah, he is. The doctor said the antibiotics will cure the infection, and I’m planning on hanging around for awhile, to make sure he rests.”

“You’re a really good brother,” Jess said softly.

Dean shrugged and looked away, feeling embarrassed. “I try.” 

“Well,” Jessica said and held out the stack of papers to him again, “I should be going. Tell Sam, I hope he’ll feel better soon. I’ll be back tomorrow with more.”

Dean flashed her his best smile. “Yeah, thanks a lot. I know Sam will appreciate it.”

Jessica smiled. “OK, see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah tomorrow,” Dean answered before he went inside, quietly wondering why the thought of seeing her again made him feel so happy. 

**

The third time Jessica dropped by with notes, Sam was awake and well enough to talk to her, and they decided she would come back the next day and bring some of Sam’s other buddies with her, so they all could fill him in on what he’d missed.

The two guys seemed to like Sam a lot, and was a lot less annoying than the kids Dean had met when he worked at the bar, which could have something to do with the fact that they were sober, but still… They also made Sam laugh a lot, which was a good thing in Dean’s book, because usually Sam was way too serious for his own good. 

He tried to stay away as much as he could, and, when they still hadn’t left by dinner time, he made them spaghetti with sausage and was rewarded with one of Jessica’s bright smiles.

“He can cook, too? How come he’s still single?” 

“Because he’s a complete jerk and everybody who has spent more then five minutes with him knows that,” Sam said teasingly, and quickly ducked to avoid Dean’s hand when it shot out to whack him over the head.

Everybody laughed and Dean felt slightly pissed, but the warm smile Jessica gave him took the edge off, and he decided the little bastards could have this one. 

An hour later, they still hadn’t left and Sam started to look exhausted. Dean looked over at Jessica and managed to catch her gaze, silently begging her to make them leave. He knew it was a long shot, but to his surprise, she got the messages right away, and five minutes later, they had all left.

Dean looked over at Sam, who sat on his bed, looking tired, cheeks slightly pink, from fever or excitement, Dean hoped for the latter. 

“You okay?”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

”You sure?” Dean walked up to the bed and put a hand on Sam’s forehead.

“Yes!” Sam rolled his eyes, but didn’t try to move away.

Dean nodded satisfied with then coolness of Sam’s forehead. “Good. Why don’t you go to bed?”

Sam obeyed, but the curses, and words like “jerk”, “bossy” and “overprotective” that he murmured under his breath, told Dean that Sam definitely was on the road to recovery.

****

Dean popped a beer open for another annoying college kid before taking the rag to sweep of the counter. This job really sucked. Collage kids were lousy tippers and annoying as hell, and he couldn’t even hustle. He might not have much conscience left, but he drew the line with hustling from Sam’s friends. So, yeah, this work really sucked, but money was money and he needed them.

“Hi.” A vaguely familiar voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up, and was greeted by Jessica Moore’s pretty smile.

“Hi, what can I get you?”

He flashed her on of his most charming smiles, out of habit, but also because – for some reason – he was really happy to see her. He hadn’t seen her much since Sam got well enough to go back to school, and he had really missed her.

“Just a beer, please.”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Beer, huh? I thought college girls preferred wine coolers and sissy stuff like that.”

Jessica laughed. “I’m not like most girls.”

Dean grinned. “So I’ve noticed.”

She took a drink directly from the bottle, ignoring the glass he had put in front of her. She managed to do it without looking bold or vulgar – just tough as nail and gracious at the same time and Dean felt a shiver run through his body. She really was something, and how Sam could not be interested was beyond him. But his brother was strange when it came to girls.

“I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Just every other weekend. Need the money since I can’t do my ordinary gig when I’m staying with Sam.”

“What exactly is your ordinary gig?”

Dean froze for second, wondering what to tell her, but quickly decided to go with the lie that was at least a bit closer to the truth than the ones he usually pulled, but still always impressed the chicks. “I’m a private investigator.”

“Oh.” She sounded both surprised and impressed, and Dean felt pleased with himself. Especially since this lie – for some reason – was the one that Sam found easiest to pull, which meant he could get back up if he needed. Not that he knew why he would need that since he usually didn’t hang around long enough for anyone to get a chance to take a closer look, and Sam was definitely on his way to complete recovery, but still…

“So do you like it?”

“The P.I job?”

“No, this one.”

He shrugged. “Like my usual gig better, but it’s not that bad, and like I said; I need the money.”

She nodded knowingly and took another swig. “How’s Sam?”

“Pretty good. He’s still not eating much, but he’s getting there.”

”I don’t think he has in a long time,” Jessica said quietly.

Dean took a deep breath and let it out slow, trying to quell the anger. He wanted to kick Sam’s ass so badly for not taking care of himself, but at the same time he felt guilty for not checking on him more often. Sam was his responsibility. It was his job to take care of him, and he had failed.

“Well, I’m changing that now.”

Jessica nodded again. “That’s good.” She bit her bottom lip and hesitated before saying, “You know he’s been out of money a lot lately, right?”

Dean’s face hardened. “Yeah, I know. But I’m gonna make sure that doesn’t happen again.”

Jessica looked relieved. “Good. I know the guys have leaned him money, but none of us has that much to spare…”

Dean nodded, silently cursing on the inside. What had Sam been thinking? A Winchester did not owe people things. Dad would kill him if he knew. But then it hit him, Sam had only trying to do as he had been taught. Trying to survive no matter what. “I understand, but like I said, it won’t happen again. Is there anyone I need to pay back?”

“Jake has lent him the most I think, but it’s no rush. He doesn’t care.”

“I’ll make sure he gets his money as soon as possible.”

Jessica looked at him in awe. “You really are a good brother. Sam’s lucky to have you.”

Dean blushed. “Yeah, well, I try.”

“Hey! Bartender! Can we get some attention over here?” A man shouted from the other end of the counter. 

Dean sighed. “Sorry. I need to go”

Jess smiled softly. “It’s okay. I should be going, too.”

Dean caught her hand before she had a chance to turn around. “I was thinking, since you’ve been so great to Sam and all, maybe I could buy you lunch or something? You know – to thank you.”

“You don’t need to do that,” she replied softly.

“I know. But I want to.”

Jessica bit her lip nervously. “You don’t think Sam will mind?”

“Why would he mind? And if he does – who cares? He had his chance and he blew it. And besides, it’s not a date – just lunch.”

“Okay.”

“Bartender!”

“Just a sec! I’m coming! Tomorrow at twelve?”

Jessica smiled. “Tomorrow is fine.”

He squeezed her hand before letting go. “Good. See you then.”

****

“You look awfully happy. What’s up?” Sam asked, peering at Dean over the rim of his glass.

“Nothing. Just having a good day in generally,” Dean answered calmly.

“Yeah, right,” Sam replied sarcastically.

“What?”

“You having a good day usually means that you’ve killed something or got laid, and since you’re not hunting for the moment, it’s gotta be a girl. So, spill. Who is she?” 

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

Sam looked hurt. “Okay. Sorry I asked. Won’t happen again.”

“Come on Sam. Don’t be like that. It’s Jessica, okay?”

Sam started at him for a moment. “Jessica. Do you think that so smart?”

“Why not? Are you jealous? Because, if that’s the case, let me remind you about the fact that you had your chance and blow it,” Dean said defensively.

Sam rubbed his face tiredly. “I know that, Dean. I’m not jealous. It’s just that I don’t think you dating Jessica right now is a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because I just hurt her, which means she’s fragile right now and, considering how your dates usually ends, she’s gonna end up hurt again and I’m afraid she can’t take that right now.”

“What’s wrong with my dates?”   
“They end with sex and then it’s over.” 

“It’s good sex, never had any complaints,” Dean muttered.

Sam smirked. “I’m sure it is, but that’s hardly the point.”

“And besides, it’s not a date – just lunch.”

“And you gonna to stop there?”

Dean shrugged.

“Dean…” 

“Just shut up, Sam! This is none of your business!” 

“It is my business! She’s my friend and I’m not gonna stand here and let her get hurt again!”

“Who says I’m gonna hurt her?”

“Because you always do, Dean! Because most women wants more than just one night of sex. No matter how good it is!”

Dean held up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! Chill man! I stop with lunch, okay? Gee, Sam if I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re in love with her or something.”

Sam blushed. “I’m not, just don’t want her to get hurt. She’s nice.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah she is, and I promise not to hurt her. Scouts honour.”

Sam just snorted, but was convinced enough to drop the subject.

*****

Of course, Dean didn’t stop with lunch. When did he ever? There was dinner and a movie, and more lunch dates, and it went on and on. Dean never said a word, but Sam knew anyway, because Jessica never stopped talking about it. It was Dean this and Dean that all hours of the day, and it was a good thing Sam loved them both, or he would have gone insane. 

One thing bothered him, though – the ending. Because there was going to be an ending, and soon. By now, Sam was completely recovered, and he knew their Dad had called Dean at least twice, practically demanding him to go back to work. But Dean had told him no, claming Sam still wasn’t well enough for him to leave, that he still was worried about his brother. Sam knew that part probably was true, because Sam had a feeling Dean would die before he stopped worrying about him, but that was so not the point. The point was that there was only as much stalling they could do. Sooner or later, John would call their bluff, probably by coming to check on Sam himself. Because, even though Sam knew his father most likely never would forgive him for leaving, he wasn’t so dense he didn’t care if his youngest son lived or died, and such a long period of sickness was sure to concern even John eventually – especially since it affected hunting. Sam had tried to come up with a solution, because both Jess and Dean would be heartbroken when Dean had to leave. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find one. Well, there was one. He could get sick again. Then Dean would have to stay and Jess and he could fuss over him together, which seemed to be their favourite thing to do – next after sleeping together. Sam sighed. He had tried, he really had. He had tried to eat less, to not wear enough clothes – everything. But nothing worked. Dean had done a very good job of nursing him back to health and Dean and Jess had teamed up on him, watching him like two hawks – or lovebirds with hawk eyes – making it impossible for him to get away with anything but a healthy behaviour. He sighed again, before sticking the key in the lock to his dorm room. He had had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach all day and when he heard Dean’s voice, respectful, but with a touch of disappointment repeating, “Yes, sir,” several times in his phone, he knew the day he and Dean dreaded, and which Jess would have dreaded, too, if she had any clue what it meant, had come.

Dean snapped the phone shot with an angry and frustrated sigh and turned to look at Sam, just as he closed the door behind him.

“Hey,” Sam said quietly, “Was that Dad?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me guess, he ordered you to get your lazy ass back to hunting.”

Dean ran his hand over his mouth and down his chin, in that distressed way that was so him.

“More like threaten to kill me if I didn’t.”

Sam gave a heavy sigh and sat down on the bed beside his brother. “Well. That sucks.”

”Yeah,” Dean agreed. “It does.”

“So…I guess that means you and Jess is over.”

Dean jerked up his head starred worriedly at Sam. “What? Why? Did she say something to you? Did she tell you she wanted to break up?”

Sam frowned, because, considering the conversation Dean just has had with their dad on the phone, it was a very strange thing to ask. “No, but you’re leavening.”

Dean looked challengingly at him. “Yeah. So?”

Sam stared at his brother in belief. “Are you telling me you’re planning on having a relation ship with her?”

Dean looked down at his hands. “Maybe.”

Sam laughed.

Dean gave him an annoyed look. “What’s so funny?” 

“Dean, you don’t do relationship.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Changed your mind? Come on, Dean! You can’t be serious. You’re the one who always says relationships and hunting doesn’t mix. And what happened to the guy who thought that women are best served in bed, without any strings attached?” 

“Maybe it’s different this time,” Dean murmured quietly.

“What?” 

“I said; maybe it’s different this time.”

“What do you mean different?” Sam asked carefully, not used to Dean being this quiet.

Dean didn’t answer. 

Sam’s eyes widened. “Oh my God, Dean! You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”

Again, Dean didn’t answer – just buried his face in his hands.

Sam bit his bottom lip. This was even worse than he thought – a lot worse – putting an comforting hand on his brothers shoulder he asked, “So what are you gonna do?”

Dean looked up at him, the look on his face so heartbroken it almost took Sam’s breath away. He wasn’t used to his strong brother looking so lost and scared. “I can’t let her go, Sam. I just can’t.”

Sam nodded. He knew Dean couldn’t, because Dean was in love and he had never been that before, plus that Jess was happier and ever, and they were Sam’s two favourite persons in the world and therefore they deserved to be happy.

“So what are you gonna do?”

Dean sighed. “I don’t know. It’s not like I can disobey Dad and hang around.”

Sam swallowed the – for him – obvious answer, because he knew all to well what it cost to disobey their father and he was well aware that Dean was nowhere near ready to pay that prize.

“You could come around every month or something,” he offered quietly. “You can tell Dad you need to check on me. You would have no trouble to make him believe that – after all, I am the black sheep of the family.

“Sammy…” Dean growled warningly.

“Sorry, Dean. I didn’t mean to go there. What I’m trying to say is that, no matter what you decide to do, I’ll have your back, okay?”

Dean blew out a breath. “I know. So you think that me coming around like, once a month would be enough for her?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah, especially if you call her everyday.”

Dean looked up at him. “You think she’ll go with that?”

Sam nodded again. “Yeah. I think she’ll love that. She would think it is all romantic and stuff.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How come you know so much about what women like all of a sudden? Wasn’t it you who called me two months ago, asking for advise?” Dean asked, eyeing him suspiciously. 

Sam smiled. “I don’t know what women like. I know what Jessica like you to do.”

Dean looked surprised. “How?”

“Dude, you’re all she talks about! It’s Dean this and Dean that, all day long. The only way for me not to know what she’d like you to do or not do is to be deaf and, unfortunately, that’s not the case.”

Dean grinned happily. “I told you I’m amazing with chicks.”

Sam just rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Dean.”

They sat in silence for awhile and then Sam asked, “So what’s the story this time? What do you gonna tell her?”

Dean swallowed hard. “Well, I told her I was a P.I.”

“I know. I’ve been backing that one up. Are you sticking with it?”

Dean shrugged. “I guess so. Have any better ideas?”

Sam chewed on his bottom lip for a few seconds. “You could always tell her the truth.”

“The truth?” Dean laughed. “Come on, Sam. You can’t be serious!”

Sam looked hurt. “I am! You’re in love with her and she’s in love with you. You’re planning on coming back to her and all. Are you really gonna live your whole life with someone who doesn’t know who you really are?”

“She knows who I am, just not what I do. And it’s not like you’re any better, Sammy. How many people around here know who you really are?” Dean said defensively.

“No one. But that’s not the point, Dean. And you know that. I’m not the one in love.” 

“And if you were the one in love, you’d tell her?”

Sam nodded gravely. “Yeah. I would.”

“Well, in that case, let me give you an advice. Don’t. Chicks can’t handle the truth,” Dean said bitterly.

Sam narrowed his eyes. “How can you be so sure?”

Dean held his eyes. “I just am, okay”

The raw look of hurt and betrayal in his brother’s eyes told Sam Dean really did know. The question was, how? and what had he missed? But no matter what it was, it’s obviously been messy and Sam decided it was time to show some support. To prove that even if he wasn’t such a good brother as Dean, he was loyal and supportive when it counted. Especially since he knew all too well he owed Dean a lot more than just loyalty. 

“So, PI, then?”

Dean gave him a surprised but grateful smile. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” 

There was a brief silence before Dean said, “Umm… you think you could keep an eye on her, check so the protecting charms and stuff is still there, stuff like that?”

“You put up protections in her apartment?”

Dean nodded.

“Sure. No problem.”

“Good. Good. And you better stay out of trouble and call me if you’re out of money, feeling sick, or if anything else is wrong, your hear?”

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to call you when I was sick.” Sam replied innocently.

“Sam…Don’t make me kick your ass the last thing I do before I leave.”

Sam grinned. “Sorry, dude. I was just yanking you chain. I promise to behave. And take care of Jess,” he added seriously.

“Thanks, man,” Dean said and clamped his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I’ll go and talk to Jess. I’ll be back before I leave, okay?”

“Okay.”

 

****

Sam stood by the door, watching Dean, who stood by the Impala, talking to Jess, probably telling her the same thing he had told Sam, minus the “check the protecting stuff” and hopefully adding something along the lines of “I love you.” It was hard to watch Dean leave again, made him feel all lonely, but it was a reassuring thought that he’d be back soon. Because he would. With the way he and Jess looked at each other right now, he doubted they would last a week apart.

They started kissing and Sam discretely turned away, not that Dean cared, but he knew Jess did, and he didn’t want to embarrass her – or himself for that matter. It was just as much a little bother could take. 

Dean and Jess broke apart and Dean waved to Sam to get over. San walked up to them and, once again, Dean clamped his hand down Sam’s shoulder. “Stay safe, Sammy, and look out for Jessica for me, okay?”

Sam nodded gravely.

Dean turned to Jess and kissed her again. “Bye, Jessica. See you soon, and take care of that knuckled head of brother of mine, okay?”

Jess laughed. “Okay. Be careful. I love you.”

Dean blushed and blew her a kiss before he got into the car and drew away.

Sam and Jess stood together for the longest time, watching the car disappear, and then Jess looked up at him with pleading, fearful eyes. “He will be back, right?”

“He said he would, didn’t he?”

Jess nodded.

“Then he will, Dean never breaks his promises.”

TBC…..


	3. Family businesses

CHAPTER THREE 

It took a lot longer than Sam expected before things went to hell, over a year, actually. For one year and four months everything was great. Dean called almost every day and showed up every two or three months and it was a lot like heaven to Sam. To be able to see Dean on a regular basis was a luxury he never thought he would have when he left for School. He knew Jess missed Dean like crazy and would prefer for him to stay for good, but she accepted the terms without fuss, which made Sam both love and admire her. He was convinced that not only was she really the one for Dean, she was also strong and tough enough to handle the truth about Dean’s real job. Dean did not agree, though, so the Winchester family secret was still untold. 

The day the truth finally caught up with them was a sunny Tuesday in May. Sam had just finished his math finals and felt great, because he was pretty sure it had went well – very well. He entered the apartment and found it empty, which surprised him a bit. Jess had her chemistry finals tomorrow and he had expected to find her with her nose in her books, close to hysteria. At least that’s how things had been when he left her this morning. 

He and Jess shared an apartment since the day eight months ago, when a bad case of the flu had landed Sam in the hospital with pneumonia, scaring both Jess and Dean so badly they thought he needed someone to look after him 24/7. The fact that he hadn’t been sick since, not even with a cold, probably proved them right and Sam didn’t really mind. He was used to company and felt a lot less lonely and out of place when he didn’t have to live alone, plus it was easier to protect Jess from supernatural things if he had her close. 

He had just sat down on the couch with a soda in his hand when Jess entered the apartment. Her face was pale and she looked tense, tightly clutching her cell phone in her left hand. 

Sam frowned. “Jess? Is something wrong?” 

Jess sat down beside him and bit her lip. “I don’t know. Maybe. Have you heard from Dean lately?” 

“Me? No. Why would I? He never calls me unless you tell him to. You know that.” 

”Yeah, I know,” she sighed deeply. “I guess I was just hoping you had, because I haven’t heard from him in a while. 

Sam felt fear rise inside. Dean not calling Jess could only mean he was either hurt, in trouble, or – God forbid – dead. 

“When did he last call you?” he asked surprised about how calm his voice sounded. 

“Four days ago. And I have tried to call him eleven times the past two days, but I’m only getting his voice mail. Do you think he’s trying to ditch me?” she asked in a small voice. 

Sam firmly shook his head. “No way. He adores you. He would rather die than leave you.” 

Jess grasped and Sam realized too late that his choice of words weren’t the best, even if they might be true. He pulled Jess into a hug. 

“I didn’t mean it literally. But we better face it, if you haven’t heard from him, something has to be wrong. He would never not calling you for four days – or ignore eleven calls from you – if he could help it. Did he tell you what his last job was about?” 

Jess pulled away and quickly dried a couple of stray tears, never keen to let other people see her cry. Always the stoic one – just like his big brother. 

“He said he was stalking someone that had murdered people in an abandoned building. Said he was pretty sure who it was. Just needed to gather some more evidence before he called the cops.” 

Sam suppressed a sigh, knowing all too well that Dean had no intention what-so-ever to call the cops and that he probably was dealing with an angry, very violent spirit or maybe a demon, but either way it meant that he could be seriously hurt, or dead. Trying to ignore his own growing fear he asked, “Did he tell you where he was?” 

“Yeah, Kingston, New Jersey.” 

“Okay. Good. Have you called the near by hospitals?” 

Jess went pale. “No. You think he’s hurt?” 

Sam nodded grimly. “Yeah, happens a lot in our line of work.” 

“But he’s never been hurt before.”

Sam shrugged. “Maybe he’s been lucky lately, but he’s been hurt on a regular basis for as long as I can remember.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jess asked, a mix of anger, fear and confusion burning in her eyes, and Sam realized, a split second too late, that he had slipped. 

“Nothing,” he replied quickly, hoping to distract her enough to drop the subject. “Why don’t you go and look up all the hospitals in the area, so we can call them and see if we can find him. In the mean time, I’ll call my father. Maybe he’s heard something.” 

An hour later, Jess had called every hospital but one without any result and Sam stared to feel as desperate as she looked. The phone call to his father hadn’t helped at all, because the only thing he’d gotten was his voice mail and Sam couldn’t help but wonder if that was how things usually were these days. He knew for sure that Dean and his father rarely hunted together anymore, but he never thought that meant his father was totally absent. Maybe he was wrong.

“Sam,” Jess sounded like she was on the wedge of tears and Sam quickly pulled himself together, “if we don’t find him at the last hospital, is that a good or a bad thing?” 

Sam swallowed hard. “Probably a very bad thing.” 

“What do you mean?” Jess asked fearfully. 

Sam chewed on his bottom lip, trying to decide what to tell her. The truth or some kind of half truth like Dean usually did? Before he could make a decision something dawned on him. Jess had been calling the hospitals looking for a Dean Winchester but what if he was too out of it to be able to tell them his real name? Or maybe he was going under some kid of alias as they usually did. 

“Sam?” Jess’s tear filled voice effectively brought him out of his musings. 

“I just mean that there are a lot of risks involved with the job he does and the chance something bad have happened to him probably is great. Look, I was thinking…you asked for a Dean Winchester when you called the hospitals, right?” 

Jess nodded. 

“What if he was unconscious when they brought him in, or using some kind of alias – he often does that when he works. Then he could still be there but no one would know it was him you were looking for.”

The hope in Jess’s eyes returned and Sam smiled despite himself. Maybe they would find Dean. Maybe things would be okay again. Maybe he didn’t have to fill a missing person report and start calling the morgues. 

“How about we split the list between us and start calling around again? It will be faster that way.” 

Jessica smiled gratefully and tore the list in half, handing one piece to Sam.

Sam picked up the phone and started calling again. There were three hospitals on Sam’s part of the list and – using his cell phone – he called the first one, praying he would get something but kept coming up empty handed. Taking a deep breath, trying to quell his disappointment, he called the last one and almost cheered with joy when the nurse in the ER told him a John Doe fitting Dean’s description had been brought in last night but had yet to regain consciousness. 

She refused to give him any further information until he had formally ID Dean and proven he was his brother. She reassured him, though that Dean’s life wasn’t in danger – at least not right now. Sam hung up and called the local police and got another little piece of the puzzle. Dean had been found next to a small road and the couple who found him thought he had been mugged, but Officer Anderson said it looked more like he had been hit by a car or tossed around some how. The whole thing was very strange the officer said. Sam agreed and offered to fax a photo of Dean for ID, which the cop gratefully accepted. 

Sam hung up and grinned happily at Jess, who looked expectantly at him. “You found him?”

”Yeah, I think so. They had a John Doe at the ICU of the Elisabeth hospital, who fitted his description and the local police thinks it was him, too. But I’m gonna fax a picture of him ASAP.” 

“But didn’t they know who he was? Didn’t he contact them like he said? I don’t understand…” Jessica asked in confusion. 

Sam closed his eyes. This just wasn’t working anymore. He needed to tell her the truth. She deserved the truth, and if she and Dean would be able to have any further together the truth was the only way to go. So, taking a deep breath, feeling just a tiny bit guilty for doing this without Dean’s consent, he told the whole story about their mom, the yellowed eyed demon and the “family business” as Dean and Dad insisted on calling it. 

Jess listened patiently the whole time, without asking questions or commenting on anything, and Sam started to believe that he was right. Dean had finally found someone who would believe him and accept things for what they really were. But when he had finished she gave him one worried look and carefully put her hand on his arm. 

“Look, Sam. I understand that you’re worried about Dean. That he’s pretty much the one constant in your life and all that, but don’t worry, okay? Everything will be fine. We’ll go there so you can be with him and when his better; we’ll take him home and care for him. And in the meantime, I’ll take care of you. You won’t be alone. I promise. So there’s no need to be afraid of the dark – I won’t let anything get to you, okay?” 

Sam just starred at her, not really getting what she was saying. She didn’t think he was crazy, right? But her next action confirmed his fears, because when he failed to answer, she pulled him into a tight hug, and stroke his back soothingly. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Sam. I promise. Dean will be okay. Everything’s gonna be fine. You’ll see. Why don’t you go and lie down while I fax that picture and book some flight tickets?” 

“I’m fine,” Sam protested, pulling away from her. “I don’t need to lie down. I can fax that picture.”

“No, Sam,” Jess answered in a very calm and very soothing voice, like she was trying to calm a sketchy horse. “You’re not fine right now, but everything will be fine eventually. I promise. But for now, you need to let me handle things, okay? Do you have any pills you can take?” 

“Jess, please,” Sam said pleadingly. “You gotta believe me. I’m not crazy.” 

“Of course you’re not,” Jess said in a way too patient tone of voice, telling Sam she considering him as a total nutcase. “But things don’t make much sense without Dean, huh?” 

“Jess, please. It’s not like you think. I’m okay. I’m not crazy.” 

“Of course you’re not,” Jess replied again. “But you’re not exactly acting like yourself right now either, so please, Sam, just do as I tell you and I’m sure things will be all right again when you see Dean again, okay?” 

Sam sighed, knowing there was no way for him to convince Jess he wasn’t crazy, Boy, did things go from bad to worse within seconds – just because he was an idiot who never listen to his big brother. Yeah, Dean would have a filed day with this one that was for sure. 

“Jess, please,” he tried one more time. “I know I sound crazy, but I’m not. It’s all true. I’m fine. I’m just telling the truth. Ask Dean!” 

Jess smiled gently, a look of sadness and compassion on her face. “I will, Sam. As soon as I can, but until then – just relax, please?” 

Sam knew he had lost the battle for now and that right now he would only hurt and stress her more by insisting and with another sigh he went into the bedroom to pack his things, leaving Jess to deal with was necessary. What a mess. Dean was going to kill him. 

***   
Jessica sat on the plane, watching Sam sleep, trying to figure out how things could go so bad so fast. Her boyfriend was laying in a hospital a million miles away seriously wounded and his precious baby brother had gone insane. 

She reached out and tenderly brushed the unruly, all too long, bangs away from Sam’s forehead. She hoped the sedative she had slipped into his soda at the airport would keep him asleep for the whole trip. She felt slightly guilty for drugging him like this, but she really didn’t think she had a choice. She couldn’t risk him freaking out on the plane, so she had stopped by Lisa’s place after faxing Dean’s picture and begged her to let her have one of her Valium. Lisa had been happy to give her one when she explained that Sam was devastated by his brother’s accident and Jess didn’t mention that in this case devastated meant insane. 

Stroking Sam’s cheek she sighed again. Poor Sam. She knew he was fragile health wise and that Dean was constantly worrying about him, but never in her wildest dreams could she imagine he was just as fragile mentally – that he was that close to the edge. She found it pretty scaring that he was so depended of Dean that the threat of losing him caused him to go delusional. But Dean’s constantly worrying suddenly made a lot more sense and so did his repeated request to her to look out for Sam. She just wished he had told her the whole truth about Sam’s fragile persona, wished he had told her there were other signs besides a fever to look out for. 

Poor Dean, he was going to get so upset when he woke up and found out what had happened to Sam. “If he wakes up” a small voice in her head said and she felt her eyes tear up. The doctor they had talked to after Dean had been ID had been positive that Dean would wake up eventually, but he couldn’t make any promises and, deep down, Jessica feared that she would lose the best thing that had ever happened to her. 

It was funny, when Sam had turned her down that night she really thought it was the end of the world but instead it had been a start of something completely wonderful. Something she never thought she would have. Dean was everything she could wish for. Kind, strong, funny, handsome, thoughtful, protective and loyal and the way he loved and cared for Sam had always touched her. It was obvious to her that their father hadn’t been around much and that Dean had practically raised Sam on his own. Sam. God, what was she going to do with Sam if Dean didn’t make it? Would Sam even make it without Dean? Would she be able to get him better or would she have to get him admitted? Oh, Dean, she thought as she lost the battle with her tears. I wish you had told me about this. I wish you had told me what’s wrong with his head. 

Jessica let herself cry for a few minutes, before pulling herself together. Breaking down would do no good to any of them. She needed to be strong, strong for Dean and for Sam. She looked over at Sam’s sleeping form again and ran her hand through his hair. 

“Don’t worry, Sam,” she whispered. “No matter what happens I’ll take care of you. You will never be alone. I promise.” 

She sighed yet again when she realized just how hard that would get if Dean really did die and Sam never got any better. But still it wasn’t really a hard decision to make because that was what Dean would have wanted. 

*** 

Jessica quickly made her way through the hospital halls with a slightly dazed Sam in her trail. He had woken up when the plane landed, a bit confused and very tired, but he seemed lucid enough and hadn’t mentioned any ghosts or demons since they left California. He had asked her, though, why he was feeling so tired and off and she had suggested he might be coming down with something and he had accepted it without any protests and why wouldn't he? Being sick wasn’t exactly a new concept for him, she thought tiredly and wondered for the umpteenth time how Dean did it. 

She turned around to make sure Sam was still there and then walked up to the nurse’s desk. She introduced herself and Sam and ten minutes later she had learned that Dean had three broken ribs which one had punctured his lung and a broken arm together with an a sorted cuts and bruises and a sever concussion. But the CT-scan showed no sins of bleeding and the doctor was positive he’d wake up soon and Jess felt relief washing over her. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Maybe things would be okay again.   
She gazed over at Sam, who stood a few feet away, nervously chewing on his fingernails, looking slightly lost. 

“Come on, Sam,” she said gently. “Let’s go and see him.” 

“Yeah, sure.” He walked up to her and put his hand on her arm. “You okay?” 

Jess smiled fondly at him. Even insane, Sam was thoughtful and sweet and she decided that had to be a good sign. The walked down the hall and entered Dean’s hospital room and Jessica felt her heart clench when she saw her precious Dean in the hospital bed, looking all small and fragile. There were several bruises on his face and various medical equipment surrounding him. 

She sat down beside him on the bed and took his hand, mindful about the iv attached to it, using her other hand to stroke his hair she whispered that she loved him, hoping he would hear her and wake up. Sam sat down on the other side and put a hand on Dean’s arm starting a silent rant about the stupidity of taking down supernatural things without back-up and Jessica felt like crying, wishing there was something she could to spare Dean from having to deal with his brothers insanity. 

*** 

It was Dean’s senses that woke him up, or rather the incompatibility between them. He could hear Sam’s soft voice whispering words of both comfort and anger. That, and the pain in his body, clued him into that he had landed himself in the hospital again and that Sam was pissed about it. Nothing new there. Dean had been though this a million times and he would know Sam voice anywhere. It was the touch that confused him. Someone was caressing his arm and it sure as hell wasn’t Sam. Dean knew that for sure. Not that it would be totally unthinkable – with Sam being a girl and everything. But this wasn’t Sam’s hand because Sam’s hands were big as plates and the hand on his arm was small and very soft – a woman’s hand. It probably wasn’t a nurse either. They usually didn’t caress their patients – no matter how much Dean wanted them to. So who could it be? Dean curiosity finally won out and made him able to beat the fog in his brain and fight his way back to full consciousness. He opened his eyes and tried to focus on the person sitting by his bed and when his vision cleared he met a couple of bright blue eyes. Jessica. Jessica was sitting by his hospital bed. Shit! This just couldn’t be good. Not good at all. No wonder Sam was pissed. 

“Dean?” Jessica’s voice was soft with a calm and comforting touch that he was sure he hadn’t hear before – at least not aimed at him. He tried to answer but all me managed was something between a moan and a whimper. 

Sam’s large hand immediately appeared on his shoulder and then his face hovered close to Dean’s, blocking the view of Jessica. Sam was even paler than Jessica and Dean wondered how long they had been there.

“It’s okay, Dean. You’re safe now.” 

Realizing that he wouldn’t be able to answer unless someone gave him some water, Dean tried to give Sam a small smile instead and it seemed to work because he stopped looking like someone had killed his puppy and smiled. The tears in his eyes telling Dean exactly how worried he had been and Dean started to wonder exactly how badly he was hurt. 

A mental check over of his body told him he his head hurt like hell and that it was hard to breathe. So a concussion then – and some broken ribs. Not too bad considering. Sam was still hovering and Dean gave him another smile, hoping that it would convince him to sit down and stop blocking the view of the woman he loved. 

As if she could read his mind, Jessica said. “Sam. Maybe we should tell someone he’s awake.” 

Sam looked thorn, giving Dean another worried look. Dean tried again to say something reassuringly but just like earlier it ended up sounding like a moan. It had the desired effect, though, because Sam – thinking that Dean was in pain – bolted out of the room to get the nurse, finally leaving Dean alone with Jessica. 

Meeting her eyes he opened his mouth to – once again – try to say something, but Jessica stopped him with a shake of her head, tenderly running her fingers through his hair. 

“Sssh, don’t try to talk. You have been unconscious for quiet awhile now and I’m sure your throat is dry as the desert. I don’t know if you can have anything to drink right now, but I’ll ask the nurse as soon as she arrives, okay? Just rest for now. Both Sam and I are all right and everything is gonna be just fine.” 

Dean felt his heart rate increasing. Jessica was lying to him. He knew it as sure as he knew his own name. Still slightly hazy and after being unconscious for God know how long, he still knew a lie when he heard one. It was the slight catch in her voice and the way she couldn’t quit meet his eyes that gave her away. She and Sam were not okay. Something was wrong. The question was what and with whom. He bore his eyes into Jessica, trying to intimidate her the only way he could in his current stat and the heart monitor started to scream when his heart rate picked up another notch from the effort. Jessica looked horrified. 

“Calm down, Dean. Try to relax. Everything is fine.” 

Fine my ass, Dean thought angrily, trying to breath through the increasing pain in his side. In that moment, Sam appeared in the doorway with both a doctor and a nurse in tow. Jessica’s eyes darted to Sam and then quickly back to Dean giving him the answer he was looking for. Something was wrong with Sam. That information did nothing to calm him down, though and his heart rate increased yet again, causing the medical staff to swarm around him, doing the last thing Dean wanted them to right now – knocking him out. 

** 

The next time he woke up the room was quiet and semi-dark, indicating that he’d out for quite awhile. Jessica was still by his side, holding his hand, like a faithful solider. Dean let his eyes dart around the room, searching for Sam, but he was nowhere in sight.   
“Jessica,” he said hoarsely, happy to find that his voice seemed to work better this time, “where’s Sam?” 

“Dean!” Jessica’s head jerked up and she stood up, stroking his hair soothing. 

“You’re awake,” her voice held both joy and relief, “just take it easy, okay? Everything is fine.” 

“Sam,” he demanded. Jessica smiled reassuringly. 

“He’s fine. Dean. He’s sleeping over there.” 

She pointed to the right and then Dean finally saw the bed in the corner. A bed with a Sam sized lump in it and he breathed a sigh of relief. 

“What’s wrong with him?” he asked harshly, then broke into a coughing fit as his sore throat protested against the abuse. 

Jess quickly poured some water in to a mug before lifting his head off the pillow, helping him to drink, very happy for the distraction if the expression on her face was anything to go by. 

“Jessica,” he said again as soon as he the coughing eased. “What’s wrong Sam?” 

“What makes you think something is wrong?” 

“Jessica. I might not have known you for very long, but I love you and I know when some one I love lies to me. So, please, Jessica tell me what’s wrong with Sam.” 

“Dean…” Jessica trailed off and took a deep breath before trying again. “Oh, Dean. I’m so sorry to tell you this. I wish you have told me the truth about Sam. Then I might have been able to do something to prevent this.” 

“The truth about what?” 

“About how fragile he is mentally.” 

Dean frowned. What the hell was she talking about? Sure Sam was a bit of a freak, but he usually acted sane. 

“What do you mean? Sam’s never had any mental problems.” 

“No?” 

“No.” 

Jessica closed her eyes briefly and Dean felt his worry increase. 

“Well, he has now.” 

Dean just couldn’t believe what he was hearing and if it had been anyone else but Jessica he had been furious by now, accusing them for lying. But this was Jessica and Jessica didn’t lie especially about something as serious as this. Not when Sam was involved. She knew how important Sam was to Dean and she would never say something like this if it wasn’t true. His gaze went to Sam, wandering over his sleeping form and he felt his eyes tear up. His poor little brother. He had always known Sam was sensitive and kind of fragile mentally – a girl as he used to say, but he never actually thought he was going to lose it completely. Obviously he was wrong, blinking away his tears he turned to Jessica and asked; “What kind of mental problem?” 

Jess sighed and looked so sad and weary that Dean just wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be alright, but for once he couldn’t, because if Sam really was insane nothing would ever be alright again. “I think he’s psychotic.” 

Dean closed his eyes. It was a lot worse than he expected. “What makes you think that?” 

“When he learned that you where at the hospital he just flipped out. Starting to tell me some story about how you weren’t a P.I , that your real job was to hunt and kill supernatural things. How your mom had been killed by a demon – a fire demon – and how you had chased that demon and other supernatural things all your life.” Jessica took a deep breath and licked her lips before she continued, “and then I drugged him so that he slept most of the way here.” 

“You drugged him?” Dean asked in disbelief. 

Jessica wrenched her hands.” I’m sorry; Dean. I really am. You know I love Sam but I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t risk him babbling about demons on the plane. He could have gotten us thrown off! And when he woke up he seemed better – didn’t talk crazy anymore, but as soon as he spotted you he started all over again. I’m sorry, Dean. Really, really sorry!” 

Sam. Only Sam. Only Sam would be stupid enough to tell people the truth and being declared as insane when he was at it. Only Sam. For a moment Dean just starred at Jessica, trying to decide if he should laugh or just crawl out of the bed and kill Sam right away. In the end he did neither because Jessica looked so sad and upset and he wasn’t mad at Sam – not really. He knew it had come to this sooner or later. Jessica was way too nice and he loved her way to much to keep her in the dark for much longer. He just wished Sam had let him do the talking, or at least been there as a back up so that his adorable little brother didn’t end up in the loony bin. 

“Jessica,” he said gently, “Sam’s not crazy. He’s an idiot, but he’s not crazy.” 

“He’s not?” 

“No.” 

“But…” 

“Jessica,” Dean cut her off, “I want you to listen to me. And before you jump to any conclusions, I know I hit my head, but I’m not confused and Sam’s not crazy. What he told you is true, all of it, and believe me, I know how crazy that sounds. That’s the reason we usually don’t tell people. Last time I did, I lost my girlfriend and almost ended up in the loony bin myself.” 

“So everything he told me is true? Ghosts are real?” 

“Yeah.” 

“So you’re telling me that pretty much everything evil and bad and scary I’ve ever heard about is real and out there, ready to kill me at any given time?” 

The look in Jessica’s eyes where still one of disbelief, but underneath lurked the, to Dean all too familiar, look of fear that all the people who learned how scary life really was developed. 

“Yeah.” 

She started at him for the longest time and Dean shifted in the bed, feeling both uneasy and sad. He knew this was it. This was when she told him she was sorry, but there was no way she could stay with him now. As she took a breath and opened her mouth, he braced himself for the unenviable, knowing the rejection would hurt like hell. But when she continued he realized she wasn’t done processing yet.

“So that’s why you’re always so worried about Sam? You’re worried something will come for him?” 

Dean nodded. “Yeah. Me and Dad both think that what the thing that killed Mom really wanted was Sam. Dad have tried to find it ever since but, so far, no luck.” 

“And in the mean time he kills every evil thing he can get his hands on?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“As revenge?” 

Dean had to think about that one for a second. “I guess so, in a way. But he also want to keep other people safe and prevent them from losing their lives -- or a loved one, like we did.” 

“So he went out saving the world, leaving you and Sam to fend for yourself. Leaving you to raise Sam?” 

“It wasn’t like that. Dad cared about us. Made sure we safe and had everything we needed.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Why not? What kind of bullshit have Sam been feeding you?” 

“Sam hasn’t told me anything about his childhood. But I’m not an idiot. Anyone can see that he turns to you like a to a father. You’re the only one he listens to, the only one he talks about. The only one who’s opinion he cares about and the only one who’s approval he wants. You raised him. It‘s as simple as that.” 

“Okay, so maybe I did. But Dad didn’t force me. I gladly did. It was my job!” 

“Yeah? And who’s job was it to take care of you?” 

“I didn’t need anyone to take care of me. I was big enough to take care of myself.” 

“Were you?” 

Dean closed his eyes briefly. He stared to feel exhausted and he rally didn‘t want to fight with Jessica over this. He did it enough with Sam. 

“Look, Jessica, I don’t want to fight with you about this. I know it’s hard to get. Hell, I don’t expect you to. But you need to understand none of us had any choice. Dad did what he had to and so did I.” 

Jessica seemed to notice his exhaustion and the fight in her died down and was replaced with love and concern as she said, “Okay.” 

Dean wasn’t stupid, though. He knew this would come up again but she was ready to leave it for now and that was fine with him. There was another silence leasing Dean to worry what would happen now. He was pretty sure the silence meant that Jessica was trying to figure out how to proceed and he was pretty sure her decision was going to break his heart. But when she finally started talking, nothing of what she had to say came even close to that. 

“And you’re doing it, too. Hunting bad things?” 

Dean nodded. 

“Why?” 

“What do you mean why?” 

“Why would you do it? It’s dangerous.” 

“I know. But I’m helping other people and one day we will find the thing that killed Mom and when we do, I want to be ready.” 

“But what about Sam?”

“What about him?” 

“Who’s gonna take care of him if you get killed?”

Dean rubbed his face. “Jessica…” 

“No, Dean. What about Sam and what about me? What are we supposed to do if something kills you? Huh?” 

Dean gave her his cockiest smile. “I kind of hope I have managed to kill them all by then.” 

“DEAN!” 

Dean sighed. “ I don’t know, okay? All I know is that I need to do this. It’s the only way I can think of to keep you safe -- to keep us all safe! “

Again, Jess just looked at him for the longest time and then she asked, “So what do I need to know to survive?”

Dean stared at her in disbelief. “What?” 

“You heard me,” she said some what impatiently. “What do I do to survive? I need you to teach me. I need to know so I can help you keep Sam safe.”

Dean smiled in awe. Maybe Jessica really would survive in their world after all.

But it wasn’t until six months later, when he received the phone call about the fire and raced to Port Alto fearing the worst only to find her sitting in a chair, knife in hand, her face full with grim and sweat, guarding a sleeping Sam, that he knew for sure that she was just tough enough, strong enough and fearless enough to survive a life at his side.


End file.
